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October 31, 2006



You really seem to be enjoying this. Should your attitude really be so gloating?


Thanks for the reply. I can tell that this has hurt you a lot and I am sorry that they have treated you so horribly. I guess I'm just surprised to see the way you seem to be responding almost vengefully. When I found you site a few weeks ago I was surprised to see how many areas you had dealing with this and now there are even more.
I'm not trying to undermine what you have gone through or say that you don't deserve anything from them, just wondering why you have taken such a negative, venegeful, and, at least from the perspective of someone just reading what you wrote, gloating stance.

Sarah McIntyre

I don't think it's an issue that Ruth has so many different web pages, just that the administrators at Calvin have dealt with this so poorly. It's partly about Ruth, but partly about how Calvin is going to go forward after this, with administrators who take this kind of stance. It's shameful to send one of their valuable members off, not with thanks and apologies, but with an inferred (but unsubstantiated) allegation of some dark, hidden sin, too terrible to mention.

The college, or those to whom the administrators are accountable, need to make some major changes, deal with this honestly and openly, and take outside recommendations for training in gender sensitivity in the workplace. They can't fix the problem by themselves if they won't even admit they made a mistake. And students trained in this environment are going out to pastor churches where they will most likely adopt the attitutdes and behaviour of their academic mentors.


I think that Smedes himself talked about not liking the title "Forgive and Forget", but his publisher or editor pushed it through. He didn't like the forgetting idea of it.
However he does talk about how important it is to forgive no matter what the other person's attitude is. Even if they don't repent. That is because he argues that forgiveness is good for a person's soul and without it they are suffering and even hurting themselves if they are actively nursing resentment or other such things. To wait for someone else to repent before forgiving is to give them power over you. I think he makes good points there


Thanks for the new post. FIrst of all I don't think that I brought up forgive and forget, I think it was someone else, perhaps on another page of yours? I forget were.
I remember the Smedes makes a distinction between forgiving and reconciling. HE says that forgiveness is something that occurs within the person wronged, where as reconciling occurs between the two. Forgiving does not (and ought not) require the repentence of the guilty, whereas reconciling does.
Forgiveness is about giving up bitterness, anger, and the right to avenge and wishing good for the one who wronged. This is good for the soul of the one wronged and if the one wronged waits for the guilty to repent, then the one wronged has given the guilty power over their soul and the health of their soul.


All I have to say is, RUTH FOR PRESIDENT!!Ann K.

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